I am Sameera, a twenty-four-year-old from Lucknow, whose life changed on that day, exactly a year ago; and Aman, what do I say about him? My best friend, my life, my pillar of strength through college, my only family there, and- that day was the first time I said it aloud and admitted it to myself- “The Love of My Life”.
I was blushing and smiling to myself at this thought when I saw Aman walking towards me, a broad grin lighting up his handsome face, his hands loaded with flowers and a box of chocolates for me, and excitement bursting through his Greek-god-like frame.
“Nice work, Sam! I’m so, so happy for you,” he said as he gave me my presents and I reached up for a high-five. Up to this moment, I had been wondering if this perfect day was the right time to tell him how I felt, but only now did I realize what the repercussions could be. “what if he doesn’t feel that way? Will it change things between us? Of course it will! And my best friend? No, I can’t afford to lose him. He is too important for that, and any way, he probably likes Sonam. She is so pretty, much better than I am, and he even went out with her a few times.”
As all these thoughts rushed through my mind, I chose not to tell him anything, and said, as cheerfully as I could, “thanks buddy! I am happy for you too. Of course, I sympathize too. You’re going to be away from Sonam. You’ll miss her really bad, won’t you? I know how you feel about her ya! But such is life… ”
Suddenly, I noticed something. His face had tightened and the grin had disappeared at the mention of Sonam. For the first time, he was hesitating in front of me! “What happened? Listen, I know what’s up between you two, Okay? You can tell me whatever… ”
“Wait, Okay? Just stop. I can’t pretend any more, alright? Sonam is just a nobody and I don’t care one bit about her. I care about you, and this moment, I am just so happy, that I’m going to be near you, because I Love You, Okay? Can’t you see it? ”
His voice had risen and his face was flushed. Meanwhile, I was shell-shocked. Did I hear him right? And as I grasped the expectant look in his eyes, I realized what had just happened. He Loved Me Too. I rushed forward and hugged him tight. It was only after a couple of minutes that I noticed that his shirt was wet with my tears and one of his hands was wiping my cheek gently while the other held me close. I looked up at his face and whispered softly, “I Love You Too! ”
The next week was one of frenzied activity- parties, celebrations, farewell get-togethers, hectic shopping and finally leaving for Pune for a new job.
Then on, life had never been so perfect. I was doing what I loved most: teaching kids and helping to make my country a better place. The smiles on those children’s faces when I gave them a sweet for a correct answer, their brightly lit up eyes when a celebrity gave them a standing ovation at some cultural programme, these little everyday delights made my life blissful. And above all, I had him. Both of us were living in the hostel provided by the organization and most of our evenings were spend having a quiet, cozy dinner at a little bistro close to the hostel. This was followed by a long walk in the hostel gardens, our fingers intertwined, my head resting on his arm, serene smiles lending a divine glow to our faces and pure love binding us like nothing else could.
Six months had passed when one evening, Aman and I were sitting in the gardens. A cool breeze was blowing and I was snug in his arms. It was Aman’s birthday and we had just come back from a party with all our friends. His fingers gently held the wisps of hair on my face and tucked them behind my ear. I looked at him and said, “I didn’t get you a present. What do you want? ”
“I have it,” he said, and gave me a squeeze. I held his hand and beamed at him, but insisted, “I know, but still. Something? ”
“Really, Sam, I have all I ever wanted. I feel like God’s favourite child, like I’m, er, you know- like I’m special- to have a job I love, a family that is with me through everything, and you. Can’t believe Mom agreed for our wedding. I don’t know why, but I always thought she had an issue with caste and stuff. I guess I was wrong. She adores you baby and I am so grateful to God…”
He kissed my forehead, I closed my eyes and said, “me too. You know Aman, I know I’m special, because I have it all too, because I have you; and you make me feel special, like I’m the best girl in the whole wide world, to have you, to deserve you and your love, to be worthy of so much joy in my life. I must be really, really special. ”
Just then, a tear fell onto Aman’s arm and he turned me to face him. He looked pleased, touched and yet, pained. “Sammy, please don’t. we are both made for each other, only for each other, and nothing can possibly come between us, Okay? Not now, when we are getting engaged in six months.” His last sentence made my heart leap with joy and I grinned through my tears.
The next six months too passed by blissfully, and finally, today came. After weeks of preparation, it was the day of our engagement. Exactly a year ago, on the same day, my life had been changed by his love. And today, it changed again.
His parents had reached our house already and he was coming with his younger brother in a different car. I SMS-ed him asking where he was. He wrote back, “just ten minutes baby. I did not know it was possible to be so happy. I don’t know if I have ever been able to convey this, but you’re the most wonderful person I’ve ever met, and you’re truly special, at least to me, because you are you. Love You always…”
Unfortunately, he could never send it to me. His car crashed into a truck and he died on the spot. At that moment, my life changed forever. He was the one who made me special, and now, I’m not special. Not any more.
Give to me........
